My Dog is a Mastermind of Evil... and a Rustic Tomato Pie... and now, a funny story, too

how pretty is that purpley-red tomato?!

The last few nights, a very bizare and amazingly well planned out event has occurred. At just around 3 a.m., my dog starts pacing the bed up and down, whimpering. She pushes her cold, wet nose into my chin and shoulder, and then begins whining furiously in my husband's direction. My husband is a heavy sleeper, so at first he doesn't hear her, but eventually Roxie's pacing and whining wakes him up. Now, you'd think this is because she's hungry, thirsty or needs to go to the bathroom. But no, that's not what happens.

Once Nick finally wakes up, he gets out of bed to go to the bathroom. Within a split second, Roxie turns from wherever she currently is, and leaps across the bed to Nick's pillow. She lays down, snuggles her muzzle into his pillow, and looks over at me, tail wagging. I pull the blanket over her, and the episode is over. When Nick comes back, he stands there, confused and shaking his head. Roxie glances up at him over her shoulder, and huffs a little, as if to say, "you can sleep at the end of the bed." Realizing that he's lost the fight, Nick squeezes himself onto the edge of the bed, or simply lays down on top of Roxie. And we all fall back to sleep, after Roxie has proven that she is the smartest person in the family. I'm not sure if it's his memory foam pillow or just his side of the mattress, but it's clearly her favorite spot in the house.

This story has nothing to do with the recipe I made, but it cracks me up. The level of planning and intelligence that my dog has amazes me. And seeing that look on my husband's face is pretty funny, too.

For dinner tonight, I made a super easy tomato pie that (with the help of store bought crescent dough... don't tell!) is ready for the oven in about 20 minutes. 35 minutes later, you have a fragrant, gooey tomato pie. This one is pretty low fat, as Nick and I usually cook with low fat ingredients. I generally don't mention that, but I rarely cook with the full fat version of anything. Anyway, just a side note... I hope you enjoy it!

Ingredients

4 1/2 c of baby heirloom tomatoes, halved
1/4 c brown sugar
1 tsp lemon zest
12 basil leaves, thinly sliced
1 zucchini, thinly sliced
1/4 c diced white onion
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tsp herbs de provence
2 1/2 tsp herb salt
1 tbsp freshly cracked pepper
1 c low-fat provolone and mozzarella shredded cheese blend
2 tbsp corn starch
1 dozen slices of center cut bacon, cooked until crisp and coarsely chopped
3 slices of low fat provolone cheese, coarsely torn
1 package pillsbury low fat crescent rolls
1-2 tbsp flour, for rolling and coating

Directions

preheat oven to 350
flour surface of crescent dough and gently roll/press out until circular and premade cuts are dissolved
grease a pie dish and press crescent dough into dish
In a deep bowl, combine tomatoes, lemon zest and brown sugar, let sit 10 minutes
add shredded cheese, bacon, onions, garlic, zucchini, basil, herbs de provence, cornstarch, salt and pepper
mix thoroughly
add tomato mixture to pie dish
top with torn provolone
bake for 35-40 minutes, until crust is golden and cheese is melted

I would like to update this post to share an(other) amusing story with you. As a Legal Aid employee, I meet a lot of colorful clients. They are always my favorite. Sometimes, the craziness is so out of hand, I can barely stand it. Here is an example from my last appointment of the day:

Applicant: I am being followed by the police, the army, the air force and the navy

Me: Wow. Why are they doing that?

Applicant: My husband told them to. He’s an Arab terrorist and the whole government is afraid of him.

Me: Oh really? How do you know they’re following you?

Applicant: Everywhere I go, a plane flies over my head (clearly, the air force). Then says, “I’m talking fast and I can tell you’re confused. Am I talking over your head? I simply can’t explain the entire Patriot Act to you.” [note, there are three international airports within a 25 minute drive of my office]

Me: Oh, ok. Have you reported this to anyone?

Applicant: The police. They’ve done nothing. What am I supposed to do, solve this problem on my own, like Lorena Bobbit?

Me: No, Ma’am, that would not be a good idea.

Applicant: What about that lady with the diaper in the car? If I can’t have a divorce, I’ll have to solve this some other way.

Me: Ma’am, I’m sorry, you just simply cannot get a divorce until you’ve been separated the required time. I’m not telling you that you can’t have a divorce – just that you need to leave the house, first.

Applicant: [stands up, puts on coat and scarf while I am still mid-sentence] I have to leave. We’ll just see how tonight goes. I feel like a dog. I’m a US Citizen and I feel like a dog.

Me: Maybe a tinfoil hat would help...*

*I didn’t really say that last part, but the rest is 100% true

Just a laugh on a dreary Monday